Lets face it. Confidence is sexy. We admire people that have it and we all want more of it. We’re talking about the kind of confidence that is self-assured, self-aware, unintimidated, doesn’t try to impress and lives without fear and negative talk. So how do we get more of it? How do you cultivate confidence and inner strength?
Understand that no-one is perfect. Even people that you think are perfect are not. Everyone struggles with something. Start seeing yourself as equal to others and not less than. It is what you do with what you have everyday that makes you who you are.
Gain knowledge or get good at something.
Challenging yourself by learning something new or committing to knowing more about a particular subject, or doing one thing really well. Becoming good at something makes you interesting and being interesting boosts confidence.
Silence your inner critic. The first step toward self confidence is self love. This is huge because it’s something most people don’t even realize they’re doing. Even positive thinkers can walk around criticizing themselves all day long and it’s one of the most destructive barriers to self confidence.
Pay attention to the thoughts you’re having. Just observe and listen to yourself. Then question every thought. Is that true or is that a habitual reaction — then, reject the negative self talk. Truly reject it by saying I reject that thought — “I’m not stupid, I just wasn’t paying attention.” Or “I’m not a loser, but I am overcommitting and neglecting to pay attention.” Or “I’m not fat, I have strong arms to carry my babies and legs that I can use everyday to take me places.“ Replacing negative talk with positive thoughts or solutions is key.
Move. When we are stagnant and unmoving, we don’t get the body confidence that comes from being strong and capable. This doesn’t mean you have to run a marathon or become a body builder — just move. Whether its walking, dancing, running, yoga, stretching, taking the stairs, becoming stronger and allowing your body to perform increases confidence.
Affirm yourself. Affirmations are positive and uplifting statements that we say to ourselves. We tend to believe what we tell ourselves constantly, whether positive or negative. Make sure you’re affirming yourself and envisioning the confident person you want to become.
Care for yourself. This quote says it all; “Self-care is never a selfish act — it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer to others.” — Parker Palmer
Self-confidence depends on a combination of good physical care, emotional health and social fulfillment. It is hard to feel good about yourself if you are not taking care of yourself. Make time to shower, spend an extra few minutes lovingly massaging a rich, beautiful smelling lotion in to your body, try new products that nurture you and uplift you, get sleep, dress in something you’re proud of and build your self-confidence by making the effort to look after your own needs.
Lastly, set yourself up to win. Make small goals and keep track of your wins. Your confidence will begin to creep in every day you are aware of what is derailing your confidence and every day you do something good for yourself or someone else. You got this!